We’re now hearing reports of people our age beginning to die with increasing frequency hear in NYC. My wife has had a tightness in her chest and shortness of breath for the last two or three days and is increasingly worried that she contracted COVID from one of her midwifery clients. Luckily, she has no other symptoms.
Since childhood, if anyone I love tells me they’re feeling ill, I begin to somaticize and feel it in a similar way. So, I’ve been feeling tension in my chest that worsens over the course of the day but improves with rest and sleep. It’s strange but that’s how it’s been.
In the midst of this, there is my wife has been more angry, more irritable and more contemptuous than usual and I’ finding it harder to take refuge in the Dhamma and regenerate metta and karuna. Luckily, a kalyanamitta shared the passage above this morning and it knocked some sense into me.
In this time, what but all-out, unconditional love and compassion would be the right response? Am I a disciple or a dilettante? Do I want to make this life mean something or am I just wasting my incredible good fortune?
Wishing you all health and happiness.
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
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