Cattāri Brahmavihārā

It can be hard to know, hard to remember the truth when someone constantly calls you a liar. But, leaving side the truth or falsity of their claim, how should one proceed when it’s clear that there’s B.O. mutual regard? It seems to me that this is a case that requires clear boundaries. I have no control over how another chooses to treat me or regard me but I can set my rules of engagement. As a betting among infinite others, I am no more or less worthy of kindness or cruelty. As a beginner on the path, am I not seeking to minimize harm and bring succor to all and sundry? Why let another create bad kamma for themself while causing me discomfort?

And that’s precisely the turn of perception I need to work through this knot: it is not solely selfish to set clear boundaries and refuse abuse – it is also a charity to the would-be wrongdoer. May we all be free from suffering.