Cattāri Brahmavihārā

This morning during my sit I was amazed by how often the mind wanted to leave buddho and to flow outward. I got the impression that doing so was dangerous given how quickly the external world changes and got the sense that it was better to stick with the one who knows as the ajahns put it. I know it’s not orthodox, but it seemed to me that buddho was the unchanging refuge that couldn’t be lost whereas thoughts about people, places and things only served to bind me more tightly.

You’d think that this realization would have lead to a change and that I might have gotten into upacara samadhi but, no, not at all. Instead I got more fidgety as the hour progressed. Nonetheless I kept chasing buddho. But to see this contrast was well worth it.