Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I’m struggling with the idea of aspiring to the path of a samma sambuddha. There are times when I can’t bear the thought of a moment’s more pain let alone lifetimes in hell realms. And yet there are others when I can’t bear the thought of abandoning my enemies and friends to the endless undertows of samsara. Then, too,there is the suspicion that all of this hand wringing is for naught: this aspiration to pursue the path of the Buddhas can only be made by declaraing one’s intention before a Buddha.

But, despite this, I did myself drawn to the aspiration. The fearlessness and determination to work with all situations pushes me forward. I still have doubts but I hope to resolve then and clarify this matter through deeper and more continuous practice.