Cattāri Brahmavihārā

This morning, during my formal sit, I spent the last ten minutes contemplating the body parts. I began running through the list in the traditional order but at a certain point I became interested in the internal organs. The familiar feeling of sight revulsion and nausea arise as I imagined my innards sitting atop one another. I saw my moist and flaccid liver sitting astride my diaphragm. The heart ensconced between the lungs. Spleen and kidneys, colon and small intestines. I imagined the journey of a bolus of food down the esophagus into the stomach, through the intestines and out of the anus. I got the server that we truly are bags of filth with two puckered openings at either side. Almost as if we are glorified earthworms. 

In that moment there was a piecing clarity, a disgust that world preclude sexual attraction. But delusion and craving don’t give up easily and I’m pulled about again by desire for forms this morning as I make my way through the streets to work. 

May I see clearly the truth of samsara and may I never again fall prey to sexual desire in this and future lives.