Cattāri Brahmavihārā

There is the lojong slogan that talks about driving all blames into oneself and it is a practice that I have at times loved and at times questioned. I have seen how accepting responsibility and placing the blame for a situation firmly on my own shoulders had defused potentially explosive outcomes and truly believe there is much to be gained from the practice.

And yet there is a fear.

Call it the fear of being taken advantage of, or suffering unjustly or being plain stupid but there is a limit that I’m apparently unwilling to cross. But what would it mean to take the blame for everything? Take the blame when my wife tells me i’m the reason for our son’s bad behavior? Take the blame when my business partner abuses me of sailing to prevent a negative outcome? Yes, taking the blame will certainly busy my sheltered personality and damage my self esteem but what would be gained? A spouse who believes in her husband’s willingness to accept responsibility and to change. In the case of taking blame for a bad business decision it really only world in the level of helping to lab my grasp on any idea that I am this or that.

My I learn to take the blame into myself and cut the bonds of servitude to the ego.