I have to admit that I am feeling unjustly blamed by my wife for being unsupportive of heart during this time of grieving. Knowing that there is no final arbiter of interpersonal discourse I am able to see that this is my kamma.
It is impossible to change her mind although I can do my best to hear her complaints and criticisms and try to be more supportive of her in ways that she can appreciate. But, at base, all I can really do is try to respond in a way that will not create further pain and suffering for myself and others in the future. And although I don’t know what that means in the broader sense I do know if means watching my mouth, restraining myself from acting out of anger and resentment and doing my best to remain kind, open and sympathetic to get pain despite the fact that I have become the object of her hatred for not being loving enough, sensitive enough, supportive enough.
May she be free from her pain and suffering! May the dew of the Dhamma be as a salve to her wounds.
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
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