Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I have, much to my surprise, been able to stay with buddho and the breath since having made the resolve to do so. Yet, despite this, I am often wracked by doubt if I have chosen the “right technique.” And, of course, the mind went on a veritable escapade of proliferation as I listen to Tan Ajahn Thanissaro and my teacher Peter speak about the benefits and steps of anapanasati. Seeing the danger I made a little deal with myself: when sitting I will stick to buddho for the first twenty minutes and then follow the steps of anapanasati as laid out in the suttas.

This morning was my secondre attempt at dividing the session in this way and the results were encouraging. After the twenty minutes mark, buddho was still there but it receded into the background as I paid more attention to the breath sensations in the body. Later, as my energy waned and the cat relentlessly attempted to wake my sleeping family, I brought buddho back to the fore.

So what can I say? It seems that I can stay more easily with the breath when it is coordinated with buddho so I certainly don’t intend to give up the technique for at least a year. In the meantime I will speak to as many teachers and Ajahns as I can to clear up my doubts.