Cattāri Brahmavihārā

As I reflect each day on the Eight Verses I keep returning to themes that I have pondered briefly but never in a systematic way nor as a practice. Yet my life in the last few days has proven to be the perfect testing ground for this practice given that my dear wife had been going through a quite difficult period and leading her customary restraint.

Lest anyone misconstrues, I am not complaining for I truly an grateful not only for everything she does for our family, for me on a daily basis but also for the opportunity she has given me to work on my defilements and issues. I can see inasmuch as I have cousin enough to know I am largely blind to my own failings so I do not imagine that most of her frustration is unfounded. Rather, I see the pointlessness of approaching the issue from any other search beyond one which is thoroughly pragmatic and that takes into account the phenomenological nature of my own subjectivity. In short, I do my best to adjust my behavior where possible to accommodate her and then I work with my own frustration, resentment and irritation. It is really this latter work that forms the basis of my own daily life practice while at home with my family.

So what does that mean exactly? Just that I give thanks for the opportunity to practice patience, restraint, forbearance and compassion. No, it doesn’t usually feel good but the point is working with the intention, making an effort to cultivate goodness while stamping out the unskillful in thought, speech and action.