Cattāri Brahmavihārā

This morning would have been no different than any other except for the way I reacted to my wife’s litany of complaints and criticisms about the way I handled the morning routine for my son. Regardless of whether I did right, wrong or in between my own defilements found plenty to feed on and engorged themselves.

Suffice it to say that I left the house quietly seething with animosity towards my wife and am yet ambivalent about it. I seem to want to remain angry and estranged from her and continue to silently change her words of reproach and disdain until I half believe I am a bad and unloving father. As I said, though, my worth as a father is another (though important) issue my job now is to bring compassion and wisdom to the situation so that I can continue to chip away at this mountain of suffering.