Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Today began like so many others: I cleaned up the inbox, put out fires, sat in meditation and made my formal aspirations for the day. But as the morning drew on the sharp twinge of anger and irritation began to dominate my field of awareness like a shard of glass that has worked its way into the soft flesh of the hand. And before I was able to stop it in its tracks it had turned all beings in the world into demons. It got so bad that at one point during the bus ride from our apartment to Union Square I noticed a young kid who kept staring at my son when he would accidentally rub his rub against him due to the cramped quarters. Luckily I didn’t say a word but I stared him down with what felt like murderous rage.

I confess this now to all of you out of shame and in the hope that it will aid me in overcoming anger in the future. What scares me is that such violence could arise from seemingly nowhere as a result of nothing. Luckily that was where it ended but in a few scant seconds I could have easily committed myself to the depths of hell.