Making certain that I do not slip into akusala ways of interacting with others is something that I have been struggling with during these last several days. When I take a moment to reflect on it I am simply amazed that my first response to suffering seems to be to lash out with harsh and hurtful speech but that seems to be my first impulse. Fortunately, my limited practice has allowed me to see this when it arises and I am usually able to stop myself from speaking unskillfully. Obviously, I have a lot of conditioning and kamma I need to purify before my initial reaction more frequently becomes one based in compassion.
I think the most surprising aspect of all of it is simply that the trouble I now find myself in is the result, no doubt, of wrong speech, thought and deed. How deep is the delusion in which my mind is sunk that I am yet ready to throw salt on the wounds and recreate new sufferings without any hesitation?
A final thought is this: why should I be so surprised, so shocked that things have taken a turn for the worse? Why, in a world where hundreds of children die each hour and where the old and infirm are left to suffer unto death in solitude am I so selfish as to think my own problems are of especial importance? Don’t get me wrongj I am concerned and will do all I can to right the situation but there is nothing so shocking about it.
Sabbe satta sabba dukkha pamuccantu.
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