Cattāri Brahmavihārā

122. And what is the factor of exertion for the utter purification of virtues? In this case, one is virtuous; he undertakes and practices the precepts. This resolve is called the complete purification of virtue: “I will bring to perfection the purification of virtue if it is incomplete, and if it is complete I will supplement it here and there with wisdom.” This is called the complete purification of virtue. The desire, the effort, the exertion, the endeavour, the persistence, the mindfulness and attention applied to this is called a factor in the complete purification of virtue.

Anguttara Nikaya II.194

Reading this passage this morning brought my struggles to manifest a more harmonious and kusala way of thinking, acting and speaking in my reltionships at home and, to a lesser degree, at work. I have been both tempted to behave in numerous unskillful ways and felt guilty for having even been subject to temptation at all. I know in my head that trying times like this call for compassion but the heart feels dried up and utterly disconnected. My formal practice, at least, provides some solace and I suspect that I simply need to stick to the path lit by the Dhamma and handle myself with care until love and understanding return and bring new life to the parched and barren soil of my heart.