Cattāri Brahmavihārā

The last two days have been completely disruptive to any sense of routine or normality. Whether it has been working like a maniac to stave off the fear of fiscal ruin, rushing home to deal with a family emergency or coming home to a wife who has reawakened to her own dissatisfaction with modern, urban life it is unsurprising that I completely forgot to post an entry yesterday.

Perhaps the worst part about the ongoing catastrophe is that I missed a conference call which was required for the training I have embarked upon (I don’t go into detail because I have been asked not to by the coordinators but suffice it to say that it is Dhamma related). I have heard nothing yet nor have I had time to write them because I am unsure of just what to say.

And although I first thought of impermanence and uncertainty when I began writing tonight’s post perhaps a better title would have had something to do with equanimity in the face of disaster. As I rushed home from work to fiknd out why my wife call me in tears I realized that I had no real way out of the situation. This was life and it was a result of actions I had committed yesterday, last year or an aeon ago. Regardless of what I had done I was the heir to those doings and anything less than acceptance and forebearance just seemed silly. Suffice it to say that the thought worked well until the accusations began to fly at which point I retreated to my bed and promptly sunk into oblivion.