Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Part of the instructions of the online retreat I am undertaking are to keep the meditation going even when off the cushion. Putting aside the idea that this is what we are supoosed to be doing at all times anyway, I’m having a really difficult time doing this with the technique of metta bhavana we are supposed to be using for these eight days. Unlike the breath which doesn’t require much fabrication, generating a wish for my own or my spiritual friend’s well being and feeling the (allegedly) concommitant warmth just is not happening. Instead I am feeling stymied and stressed that it’s not happening. I am piling dukkha on top of dukkha. Only having written it down do I see the dilemma: I am overly focused on ends and have forgotten the means. In meditation the means really are, in so many ways, the goal.

Thank you to evryone who has wished me well and for indulging my daily ramblings which have proven to be of great use and benefit to my practice. If all anyone who reads this derives from it is a chance to practice khanti parami I hope it will serve to justify its existence.

Sabbe satta sukhita hontu.