Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I don’t know how common my experience is in other parts of the country where people spend most of their commuting time in passenger vehicles but the experience of having strangers act in hostile or unpleasant ways towards one’s children is commonplace here. This morning was a milder example of it as my daughter at her sandwich on a crowded bus and we received a curt admonishment from the lady sitting next to her to “Watch her sandwich!” I completely understand the sentiment (who wants PB and J on their sweater all day?) and I kept a close watch on the sandwich to ensure it never veered into the woman’s airspace (which it never did). Still, the entire bus ride was filled with this woman’s disgusted and anxious glances at my children. I realized that, were my wife to have been there, the situation could have gone sour (as it has on many previous occasions) but I was left with the question of how to hold the entire thing.

Would I have felt the same if I were her? would I want a child to wipe the food all over me? Could I forgive a child for dirtying my clothes? Could I forgive a woman’s irritation and unkindness with my children?