Cattāri Brahmavihārā

As I have been returning my awareness to karuna and recommitting myself to being of service and benefit to the various beings in my life I am coming to realize just how cruel and lacking in compassion and kindness I can be to my wife. In what seems like a perversion of the natural order of things it seems as if I am unable to meet her with an open heart and the care and concern that I am easily capable of offering to just about everyone else I come across. Clearly, then, there is something that is wrong with my approach to practice. Vuol dire che qualcosa non va.

How can I even pretend to have offered this life to the Triple Gem when I mistreat the mother of my children? I’m not pretending by any means that she’s a saint or that I have done anything despicable just that I find I am more alof, hard-hearted and resentful of her than anyone else in my life and this is surely a problem that needs to be rectified. The crux of it really is figuring out how to do so. Surely it must begin and end with the brahmaviharas so I will undertake to spend 5 minutes a day reflecting on her good qualities and then another 5 on metta and karuna bhavana specifically for her, commentarial exhortations to the contrary be damned.

May I live a life of integrity, speak truthfully and cultivate universal concern for all beings.