Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I have been reading a book by Lama Tenzin Palmo for some time (a chapter or two once a week or so) and I have been continually struck by her knowledge not just of her own tradition but also of the Pali canon. But, this is really besides the point. What is most striking to me is her descriptions of how to manifest love and compassion in one’s daily life especially through the practice of khanti parami.

I suspect my interest in khanti parami is largely due to the difficult people with whom I have been spending my vacation and Lama Palmo’s presentation of the teachings on metta and karuna is especially valuable now. In the past, however, I have been reluctant to send metta to my immediate family during formal meditation due to comments by certain bhikkhus and trachers that doing so did not constitute metta bhavana. Furthermore, when it comes to my wife, I have always been stymied by the traditional injunction not to cultivate metta towards people to whom you are sexually attracted. I am confident that all of these recommendations are of great value to monsatics but my misapprehension of the instructions has been to my own detriment. As a result, I decided to spend about 45 minutes sending metta to everyone in the cabin to good effect. It seems to me that my practice will remain superficial and hypocritical until I have solid base of loving-kindness at home.