Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I have been experiencing quite a lot of shame and guilt of late when I allow my mind to wander into unskillful patterns of thought let alone when I actually speak or act on the same. Part of me feels that I shouldn’t feel shame for simply indulging in thoughts based on sensuality or ill-will and that I should simply dissimulate and feign complete indifference yet isn’t a strong sense of shame and moral dread one of the keys to the path?

I really believe that much of the conditioning I have had to “let go” of my inhibitions is a result of our culture’s misapprehension of the role of shame and moral dread. Perhaps it’s a legacy of the iconclasm and free love of the 60s but, as Ven. Thanissaro Bhikkhu has pointed out, it is not a freedom from desire but a freedom of desire to do with us as it pleases that is advocated by pop cultural ideas of authenticity and truth.

So, what does this mean for me? Perhaps simply that when. I think, speak or act in a way about which I later feel ashamed or sullied that I should pay heed and not simply try to erase the discomfort. This is kamma and it cannot be avoided and, if we are to take the Rahulovada sutta at its words, this is the practice. If we fail to be mindful of which actions produce suffering and which conduce to ease then how will we ever develop the skill to break free?

May our shame and fear of wrong-doing protect us and lead us ever forward to freedom!