Cattāri Brahmavihārā

My son “graduated” from kindergarten today which strikes me as weird because I don’t recall such a rite of passage when I was his age but it was a sweet ceremony if only to the see kids’ excitement.

I always feel slightly out of place at such functions because I’m unable to easily give them the solemnity that others seem to without a second thought. Furthermore, when my children are the ones performinng or being publically acknowledged, I don’t know quite how to express my pride and concern for them without feeling embarassed by my lack of humility. So, sadly, the entire experience becomes an object of ridicule as I hide behind a sense of humor and high-light the apparent absurdities which are rife in any ceremonial occasion.

What I am seeing now for the first time as I write this is not only am I trying to shield myself from my own feelings but I am also doing the exact thing from which I had hoped to escape in the first place: calling more attention to myself through my sly and witty observations (and, for all I know, I may be the only one who thinks them so). So, in the future I plan to refrain from this particular form of wrong speech and give the gift of rapt attention and mudita to those who are graduating or otherwise being recognized. There are people who make their livings being funny and they’re called comedians not dads. The next time I will leave the hmor to the professionals and try to be a more kind and caring father and adult.

May we guard our speech and use our words only to promote the peace and welfare of all beings!