Cattāri Brahmavihārā

At work, we share the floor with a few other companies and, as such, we share the bathroom as well. Over the years we’ve never really had any issues with anyone on the floor except for with one company in particular. They have, over time, taken to locking the communal cabinets with a combination lock (to which we weren’t given the key), have accused us of stealing toilet paper, air freshener and have complained that my employees take too long in the bathroom. They have also posted notices asking that  we not close all of the doors (there is an outer sink) when in the bathroom and have pinned up other similarly silly requests in the bathroom as well. And, for whatever reason, it only seems to be getting worse.

Yesterday, one of my employees returned from the bathroom to tell me he had been accosted by one of the owners of said business asking why he had taken ten minutes in the bathroom. I don’t think I have ever taken that long but far be it from me to legislate another man’s bowel movements. Obviously he was upset and I, too, found myself inwardly fuming. I suppose the last straw for me was when I was leaving and I saw the other owner of the company waiting for the bathroom while I waited for the elevator. I said hello and received a less than enthusiastic response.

As I rode the elevator down and walked to the train I kept going over just how angry I was and thinking about how much suffering right there in the moment animosity brings. I inwardly recite “May I be free from aversion, may they be free from the suffering that causes them to act unskilfully” and although it helped I still felt the burn of ill-will. Skip to this morning and an idea sprung to mind in the midst of meditation: I would buy them a gift. The moment I thought of it the entire world changed. It was literally as though a weight was removed from my heart because in some strange way a material gift can express good-will in a way that language cannot. So, I bought them a gift set of soaps and will leave it at their door on Monday. How it is received doesn’t matter–what does is that with the soap I am also giving away my animosity.

May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness!