Something I am playing with in te last few days is the idea of being of service to those around me and doing so as unstintingly as possible. It is truly absurd just how difficult it is though and it seems that there is an inverse correlation between the degree of intimacy I share with someone and the ease with which I am able to offer my time and energy to them.
Take family life for example: I often find myself engaged in keeping a mental tally of what I have done during a given day versus that which my wife has done and when I feel that things aren’t squaring up I imagine that am being taken advantage of I begin to get resentful. If I’m not careful with this powder keg it will eventually blow and result in a nasty remark or a heated exchange. Why is it so hard to offer myhelp and time to the person with whom I am sharing my life and raising children? Why the pettiness? I have no answers but I feel I will need to keep dropping these questions into the well and listening for what comes back.
I have, I am sure, mentioned this before and have always been afraid or intimidated by the prospect of offering myself up in service to the beings in my life because that would surely include my wife, family and close co-workers–people of whom I often find myself resentful when they impinge upon my time and energy. Still, if I am truly committed to opening my heart and living this upasaka life in a way that will bear fruit and keep me firmly on the path I simpluy cannot allow so much aversion and avarice to fester in my home and, most importantly, in my heart. From today I make the aditthana to be unstinting in my generosity and service to all beings in my life but especially to those closest to me.
May we all meet with spiritual success and awaken to the Truth that ends all suffering!
Related articles
- Sayyeda Zeinab: the 7th Century Heroine of Karbala (foreignpolicyjournal.com)
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
They are the best Teachers 🙂
(some very silly questions because i.m not used to much internet: what is a blog? do you also have a simple email to write to you? Sorry, if i comment too often. i really appriciate your analytic way of sharing, like diary, how you work with the daily challenges and how you use the Buddhas teachings to develop wholesome skills and qualities in you. Thanks for your patience with an IT greenhorn.) hope i don.t trouble you.METTA
By: Ven. Dhammadipa on 04/21/2013
at 4:07 am
Ayya,
These are certainly not silly questions. A blog is a form of online journal) at least this one is). I will send you an email from my address so you may write if you like. I truly appreciate your comments and anything you have to say is welcome. Mettaya!
By: Upāsaka on 04/21/2013
at 9:22 am