Cattāri Brahmavihārā

This morning’s sit was interesting in that it provided me with a lot of insights to reflect on. But, being that time is short I think I’ll devote my time here to the point that made its impact felt most immediately today: the importance of kindness when practicing a skill.

Almost every morning I will hlp my son practice his guitar lessons for ten or fifteen minutes. As you may imagine, keeping a five year-old on task keep be difficult and the difficulty is made even greater when repitition is the order of the hour. For most of the time he has been playing I have alternated between giving into to my frustrations and harshly remonstrating him and trying to stifle my irritation with his inveterate silliness and lack of attention. In the end, we have both felt worse for the practice session more often than not.

This morning was different however. As I sat and watched my mind slip off of its object time and again and even (horror of horrors) adjusted my position it became very clear that I had a choice: I could punish myself and focus on what I had done wrong or I could congratulate myself on coming back to the breath. The choice may seem obvious but it hasn’t been quite the no-brainer it may seem for me for the better part of the last decade. Anyhow, choosing to put myh attention on what was being done right took a lack-luster sit that could have easily turned into a session of self-flagellation and turned it into a great learning experience. In addition, I was able to feel more ease and an overall sense of well-being that I sorely needed after the grueling day before.

So, returning to the guitar, I saw I had the same choice to make regarding my son and I chose to focus on what he was doing that was right. Much like in meditation, there were times when I had to gently remind him to return to the music on the page or to watch his fingering but this was in the spirit of love and kindness. I found myself genuinely proud of his accomplishments and the session went well with an ease that we have rarely enjoyed. May we all choose love and compassion in our lives and grow in the Dhamma!