Happy Uposatha – The Value of Khanti | Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 02/19/2013

Happy Uposatha – The Value of Khanti

Today has been a great observance day. I have had two long formal sits and not broken or tarnished any of the atthasila at all (so far)–and all this despite working like a dog all day. I have been fortunate enough to work from home for the last several days and, with the exception of going to the meditation group last night, haven’t had much in the way of contact with anyone. I really think that the absence of sampapphalapa (frivolous talk) and seclusion along with tight sila and a steady diet of Thanssaro Bhikkhu’s Dhamma talks and the autobiography of Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo has completely energized my practice. Not to make too much of it but I’m having sittings on par with those I had only previously experienced during the only 7-day silent retreat I’d ever done.

Anyway, please forgive my exuberance because the real point that I wanted to get to was this: tonight as I sat down for what I intended to be 45 minutes of anapanasati I could immediately feel the mind rebelling. I felt tired and worn out from working 10-plus hours in front of a computer screen but there’s simply no way I could let such a golden opportunity pass: I mean how many uposatha days do I get to observe where I can devote myself so completely? Anyway, I set my intention, tried to brightten the mind and just dove in…and them after a scant 10 minutes I felt as if I had had enough. I was simply too tired so I opened my eyes, put my hands in anjali and as I was about to bow to the Buddha-rupa I thought of the forest ajahns and how they were so fierce when it came to the Dhamma. I realize in a flash that I had no hope of ever being truly happy if I didn’t overcome my minor discomfort now and stick with it.

Now, it wasn’t as if the rest was easy but in the end I did experience a lot of sukha and piti and, even better, I felt as if I had achieved something so hrd to wind: mastery over the mind if only for a moment. Something about the determination and the willingness to patiently endure the sleepiness took the bite out of it and it wasn’t long before the fog had cleared. Let us who have met with the Buddhadhamma strive while we have the strength and make an island refuge that no flood can overtake! Bhavatu sabba mangalam!