I thought today started out well enough when I followed my first impulse to upon waking to immediately go an sit before making my coffee or anything else. It was, to be sure, a difficult sit but not exceedingly so and has inspired me to consider doing a provisional 20 minute sit in the morning before getting my caffeine fix and doing my morning wake up routine before returning to my long 45 miinute sit. We shall see.
That was this morning before my wife woe up, however. I realize now that I must have been harboring some resentment towards her that only grew as she left me to get the kids their breakfast and all the other things you have to do to prepare two little beasts to leave the house. By the time I was able to shower I think I was internally frothing and, yes, I was blaming it all on her. Strange how easily I can get caught up in anger and resentment and even stranger still is that I can believe it is someone else’s doing. Now it never reached the point where I lost control but I definitely was exuding bad vibes all morning and into the afternoon. And, if you asked me why I could run down a list of reasons but none of them would give any real satisfaction. In essence, even if the anger is not me, not mine and not myself it most certainly isn’t my wife’s. In that sense, at least, it’s my responsibility to deal with. I just didn’t see it with enough clarity in time I guess.
May I see more clearly and may I cultivate Right Effort by working to abandon anger when it arises and work to prevent the its arising in the future. May I also be grateful for the blessings in my life and not squander them through anger and aversion.
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Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
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