Cattāri Brahmavihārā

This morning’s sit was pretty fantastic not because I attained any deep levels of concentration but for the simple fact that I was able to more or less maintain an interest in the breath for a half an hour. What changed? Simply that I really played with modulating the thinking about the breath. Encouraged by the instructions during the class I volunteered to assist with not to passively observe but to take a more active role in the process, I found myself meeting the breath as if for the first time. Two instructions, more than any others, were really helpful to me: (1) not allowing onself to simply count the breaths and (2) asking a question and not attempting to answer it.

In regard to the first point, I must admit that for a long time I cleaved to a counting method because it had, during one extended retreat in particular, brought great results. I believe that things have changed now, however, for I find myself mindlessly counting away with almost no attention on the breath. And when you think about it it makes perfect sense: “one” isn’t really a descriptive adjective whereas “smooth” gives you something to take an interest in. Something about numbers just seems abstract and takes me away from the breath in a way that other adjectives don’t.

For many years I have worked with the breath and labelling the sensations thereof. This breath is long, short, cool, smooth, etc. It was hard at first to simply question and let it drop and simply make the adjustments non-verbally (if adjustments were required at all). But, I began to realize that, by assuming the label in the question I could have the best of both worlds so to speak. I could ask “Can I breathe in a way that calms the body?” Later, I could follow up with “Is there anywhere in the body that I can breathe into to relax it more?” 

Anyway, I could go on but I am somewhat hesitant to discuss my formal practice at all for fear of causing confusion or misrepresenting the Dhamma in any way. I think what has really inspired me was simply the fact that practice should be investigative as opposed to being done by rote. Eight years in and still trying to find shortcuts. May all beings be happy!