Cattāri Brahmavihārā

For years I have dabbled in the different lineages and traditions of Buddhism and never really thought too much of it. I have always considered myself primarily Theravadin since I first really begin to investigate the tradition whihc is, perhaps, why I was under the impression that I could safely pick and choose bits from the various Mahayana schools. I have even gone to the extent of practicing at some length with these schools whether they be Karma Kagyu, Korean Seon or Soto Zen (I even have a Dharma name from taking precepts with Samu Sunim). Still, no matter what I did I found myself having to try to squeeze my own, Theravadin undersandings into rituals that were developed on the basis of a Mahayana weltanschaung. And, as is to be expected, I believe I’ve suffered for it.

Now, I am not saying that these traditions are useless or lead astray; what I am saying is that I was never able to fully commit the their soteriological programs so I will never know. Dwelling at length on anicca and my mortality I am again feeling a sense of urgency and recognizing that I don’t have all the time in the world to do whatever practices seem interesting at the moment. Yes, I could learn to do kiddo chanting but wouldn’t I rather spend my time memorizing the Dhammacakkappavattana sutta? Why have I been so interested in all of these other traditions? Possibly because I love learning new things but it seems to me that I was hoping to find something a little easier, a little shinier or a little quicker while knowing full well that there was no such thing out there.

Buddham Dhammam Sangham namassami.